The Wisdom of Childhood

The Wisdom of Childhood: What We Can Learn from How Children Experience the World

The Enchantment of Early Life

Most of us would agree that life felt more magical when we were kids. Each day seems to have been filled with wonder and amazement, with even mundane activities sparking excitement. But just why, exactly, is this the case?

The magic of childhood can partly be attributed to our tendency to romanticize the past, a lack of responsibility, and the fact that we still had cherished relationships that we might no longer have access to. There’s more to manage as we grow up, and our losses seem to compound over time. People pass away, family members move, and friendships fade.

Each of these factors is mostly out of our control. Yet, there seems to be something else at play—a fundamental difference in the way that children experience life. And while we can’t turn back time, perhaps there are lessons we can learn from our childhood selves.

The Unfiltered Life

A defining feature of childhood is a lack of past experiences. However, whatever we do experience as children seems to feel incomparably vibrant and real. Michael Pollan explores this in his bestselling book How to Change Your Mind. As we go through life, we build up a sort of database of experiences to which we compare the present moment. Based on this, we predict outcomes, prioritize information, and filter out most sensory input. Because children have an undeveloped filter and paradigm for experience, they tend to receive the present moment more completely.

Children also spend less time comparing moments and dwelling on the past. They have fewer expectations, allowing them to be more present and experience more joy. Expectations truly make or break an experience. Whether a gift feels generous or not is entirely based on how much you expect to receive. Because children have less responsibility—and are less aware of all the ways life can possibly go wrong—they spend less time worrying as well.

As adults, we might meditate or take up other practices to return to this sense of unfiltered awareness. For children, though, it comes naturally. They are much more acutely aware of what’s going on, both externally and internally.

The Full Spectrum of Emotion

As children, we don’t really know how to numb our emotions, nor are we aware that this is expected of us. The ability to fully feel is another element that adds to the vibrancy of early life. That’s not to say that we should express our emotions without reservation. Unbridled self-expression rarely bodes well in adulthood. What we should strive towards, however, is feeling our unedited emotions. Each one has value, and numbing unpleasant emotions desaturates joy, happiness, and love as well.

As difficult as it may be, emotional awareness guides us towards our best interests. Our feelings let us know when something’s wrong, teaching us about our hopes, fears, and preferences. They also tell us what our boundaries are and when they’ve been crossed. 

This emotional attunement can partially explain why we feel more like “ourselves” as children. We’re keenly aware of our likes, dislikes, and desires. We’re also less aware of others' expectations of us. In our early years, we haven’t yet pruned our dreams and personalities to fit their ideas of what is possible or acceptable.

Life as Play

If there is one thing that children do well, it’s play. They know how to rest and have fun without the guilt of being “unproductive.” It seems like we forget these skills as adults, approaching even leisure activities as work. Exercise transforms from unstructured outdoor play to a dutiful regimen. Creativity, once enjoyable and freeing, becomes an effort you feel guilty for not making. Things we once loved become projects to be optimized and tasks to be completed.

We recognize that play is a fundamental need for children, but adults need it too. Approaching activities as play makes them feel less effortful and heavy. It helps us to live each day with more levity, agility, and creativity. As adults, play might look like a free-flowing art activity, spending time in nature, or even finding an inventive solution to a problem. The main defining feature of play is the mindset with which we approach an activity—one of creativity, joy, and no set outcome.

The Magic That Surrounds Us

It can feel like the enchantment of childhood is inaccessible, as though that colorful world is fundamentally out of reach. In reality, the magic was in the way we approached the world. The same amount of beauty, wonder, and possibility still exists. As children, we were simply more in tune with it. Through presence, we were able to take in the raw complexity unfolding before us in each moment. Through emotional perception, we fully experienced our joys and sorrows. Through play, we saw life as a web of possibility rather than a set of rules and routines.

That said, reconnecting with the wisdom of childhood doesn’t mean becoming a child again. A sense of responsibility adds meaning to our lives, and the ability to focus and work hard is essential. We need to develop these traits if we hope to make a difference in the world or achieve anything at all.

However, there are certain truths that children intuitively know and harmful habits they have yet to pick up. Returning to this wisdom in adulthood allows us to be more present, living with more joy and less struggle. Ultimately, we are most balanced when we can pair accountability, self-control, and self-awareness with the ability to be present, play, and soften our ego.